Song: Lick my Stamps

This song is sung between the lonely postman and George. George has remembered that each Tuesday morning, he has seen the postman deliver Mayor Claxton a suspicious looking letter. He wants to find out more about the letter and who it is from, but knows to gain this information he'll have to befriend the Postman–who has never really had a friend before.

Lyrics

Postman: Well lick my stamps, if it ain’t Mr Priority, talkin' to me.

I’m actually quite surprised you know my name

George: Of course I do Chris,

Postman: It’s James

But That’s alright and it’s okay

But I don’t think you got no letters today

George: Well Jimmy, that’s not what I wanted to say

Postman: Go on 

George: Well a fella like you with his finger on the pulse

Who everybody likes, who everyone loves 

Must see some shit in your day to day 

Postman: No, but I hear a lot of shiz

How you handle your biz

To get whatever you want 

And whatever that is

Ain’t gonna be summin that I help you with today 

George: Well James, you’re right 

That’s how I used to operate, manipulate

Situations but I’ve come to a dead end 

Postman: You lost some mail or something?

George: No, but I’ve lost so much, I’ve lost respect

I’ve lost my friends, I’ve lost my head

All I really need right now’s a friend…

Postman: I, ain't never!

Had a friend like you before.

Cause I ain’t ever!

Ever really had a friend before.

Oh I get it now, you befriend me,

wanna crash at my place then my fridge is empty 

You’re like hey James, can I borrow your bike,

can I use your light.

And then you want my national insurance number…

Fine you can have it!

I, Ain’t never!

Had a friend like you before.

We’d be Like Batman and Robin, but with less rim-jobbin’

Or brothers like Loki and Thor.

If you go flying I’ll be the co-pilot

If you like sushi, I’ll pretend to like it

If you need to hide a body, I won’t ask why

If you say jump, I say…

off what bridge would you like me to jump from?

George: Oh James I would never ever ask you to do those things,

but I must ask of you a favour

and I ask with trepidation. 

Because I don’t want you to think it’s why I’ve befriended you,

'cause that’s not true but I’d understand your hesitation

George: Well you know the mayor?

Postman: Yes I know that player.

George: So you know he play dirty,

Postman: And that shit ain’t fair

George: Well I got my suspicions 

Postman: Oh, you think he fixin’?

George: Well I know each week

There’s a letter you give him

Postman: Well what’s inside?

George: There's a mighty fine bribe

But I’m looking for a clue

Of the place they hide

Postman: The return address?

George: So I fix this mess I’ve made,

so when ask you for the letter James,

Please say yes.

Postman: Is that what all of this was about?

Is that why you wanna be friends?

Oh man, just take it.

George: No I swear James, let me prove I didn’t fake it

Tomorrow night you’ll see, first rounds on me,

I hope that you can make it

Postman: I, ain't never!

Had a friend like you before.

Cause I ain’t ever!

Ever really had a friend before.