Song: Confessions of a Priest

In this song, Father Whitmore is exploring his crisis of faith before his confessional service. During the confessions, townsfolk including the Chief of Police, Doug the Degenerate and Foreign Man, all share their problems with the priest–whose advice isn't particularly helpful.

Lyrics:

Father Whitmore: Do you ever get the feeling that God might be an arsehole?

A bigot with a short attention span.

Now I can’t say I know him, quite like I used to

But still I tell these folks

To laugh at his sick jokes

Don't worry it’s just part of his plan .

Do you ever get the feeling that life just has no meaning 

Maybe heaven's not the place I thought it was.

As I feel it getting closer, it looked nicer in the brochure 

And now I don’t know why

but it seems I’d rather die

Then look them in the eye

To tell them one more lie

Or That I, just can’t go on

Townsfolk: Father father can you help me

I’m feeling lost I’m feeling lonely

Father father can you help me 

I don’t know what to do

Father father can you help me

I’m feeling lost I’m feeling lonely

Father father can you help me 

I'm reaching out to you

Forgive me father for I have sinned 

Chief Bassett:

The truth is in this town, what I do is minimal at best

Never made a criminal arrest

Though I’ve seen a crime or two

If the crime is all above you, 

well then who are you to tell,

Am I set to burn in hell,

Or is there something I can do?

Father Whitmore:

If you can’t catch a criminal in this town, just look around 

‘Cause everyone’s a sinner

If you want to catch rats, you’ve got to lay a few traps

Then sit back and see who comes for dinner

Chief Bassett:

Forgive me But I’m not quite sure

If I quite get the metaphor

Father Whitmore: I’m not sure what you’re fretting for

Chief Bassett: Should I hold the letter of the law

Or should I keep it to myself?

Even though I know it to be wrong.

Father Whitmore: Did Judas keep it to himself?

Bet the fucker wished he bit his tongue?

Townsfolk: Forgive me father for I have sinned 

Doug the Degenerate:

Father, I was fired from my job

just selling booze

They said we don’t take I.O.Us

We don’t drink stock

Father Whitmore: Not even one!?

Doug: Now I leave the house each day at 8,

And sit there at the bookies

Placing doubles, trebles, luckies

So my wife doesn’t catch on

Father Whitmore:

Well that seems great, to be honest mate

A small white lie is alright 

You know in Exodus, Moses had to twist

The truth for the Israelites 

Doug: Forgive me but I’m not quite sure

If I quite get the metaphor

Father Whitmore: I’m not sure what you’re fretting for

Doug: I don’t know what I’m betting for

And I’m not sure that I can stop

I’m not sure who I’m trying to kid

Father Whitmore: Well, maybe it’s a sign from God

and maybe you’re about to hit it big

Townsfolk: Forgive me father for I have sinned 

Foreign Man:

I came to this country, 

I no have a choice

I scared I lose my voice

If I don’t make friend here soon

They look at me like monster

They run when I get near

Shout I no welcome here 

Like I creature from black lagoon

Father Whitmore:

Fuck me now, I’m getting bored, 

Is no-one here half self-assured?

I don’t know what you’re fretting for 

I’m not sure what you’re fretting for

'Cause I don’t have all of the answers

For all of life’s pains and its cancers

And I don’t know where I could get them

So perhaps it’s better just to forget them

It’s better to stop asking questions 

It’s better to stop thinking life teaches lessons

Cause I’m not the person to solve them

I’m not even someone who should absolve them

Do you ever get the feeling that God might be an arsehole,

A bigot with a short attention span

I can’t say I know him

Quite like I used to

And I’m not even sure that I want to 

To know him anymore